Just when I thought an Elton John/Alice in Chains collaboration was the most unlikely musical pairing of the day, a freakin’ Twitter opera comes across my screen (via The Daily Swarm). London’s Royal Opera House is planning a performance based on tweets sent to the director, LA Times’ David Colker reports.

“We’re investigating how short, 140-character contributions can build upon each other to create a non-linear narrative,” the ROH said of the Opera/Twitter mashup. Don’t know about your Twitter feed, but mine suggests they won’t have trouble keeping this story “non-linear.”

You can check out updates on the Opera, which is set to premiere next month, on the official Royal Opera House Wordpress (yes, they have a blog too). Here’s one plot update they’ve posted: “In brief, at the end of Act One, Scene One, William is languishing in a tower, having been kidnapped by a group of birds who are anxious for revenge after he has killed one of their number.” Where are all the @s and #s and twitpics?

This sounds like a bit too much of a stunt for me, but I’ve never actually been to an opera, so whatevs. Personally, I think the Hamlet Facebook project sounds more promising.

Trent Reznor might have half a million Twitter followers, but that doesn’t mean you can’t get his attention. You best be sending positive vibes his way, though, or he might expose your name, location, and potential criminal record. That’s exactly what Reznor did to a user with the Twitter handle AngieZherself the other day after she relentlessly mocked his fiancée Mariqueen Maandig.

After posting a link to Maandig’s Playboy photo shoot, the Reznor basher posted: “@trent_reznor I hope you get a good prenup because that skank is going to take all your money!! ;P,” followed by, “@mariqueen Way to go! Use that bf to promote yourself ;) He apparently likes his ego inflated :D”

Well if Trent can take on Prince and Rivers Cuomo, surely he could deal with an anonymous (or was she?) Twitter detractor. “Perfect example of the kind of complete parasitic delusional asshole that makes you regret fame: @AngieZherself,” Reznor replied. Then Trent went to the secret Nine Inch Nails CTU (Counter Twitter Unit) and owned the Tweet fight: “And you’re not anonymous dear, you are Angela L. Zajac from Worcester with a criminal record,” he added.

Possibly for fear of facing the ire of an angry NIN fan mob, Ms. Zajac deleted her Twitter account (google-cached here) and took to her blog for some wit of the staircase ranting.

Posting her name and location was one thing, but finding a criminal record too? That NIN iPhone app must be pretty damn powerful.

As a side effect to his ceaseless caps lock, Kanye West’s blog always sounds like he’s yelling, but this time it’s intentional. A fake Twitter profile has infuriated Kanye so much that now he’s not only angry with the perpetrators, but also Twitter itself for enabling them. Here’s his reaction, which miraculously contains a lower-case tease:

(This spaz comes courtesy of losers making fake Kanye West Twitter accounts) I DON’T HAVE A FUCKING TWITTER… WHY WOULD I USE TWITTER??? I ONLY BLOG 5 PERCENT OF WHAT I’M UP TO IN THE FIRST PLACE. I’M ACTUALLY SLOW DELIVERING CONTENT BECAUSE I’M TOO BUSY ACTUALLY BUSY BEING CREATIVE MOST OF THE TIME AND IF I’M NOT AND I’M JUST LAYING ON A BEACH I WOULDN’T TELL THE WORLD. EVERYTHING THAT TWITTER OFFERS I NEED LESS OF. THE PEOPLE AT TWITTER KNOW I DON’T HAVE A FUCKING TWITTER SO FOR THEM TO ALLOW SOMEONE TO POSE AS ME AND ACCUMULATE OVER A MILLION NAMES IS IRRESPONSIBLE AND DECEITFUL TO THERE FAITHFUL USERS. REPEAT… THE HEADS OF TWITTER KNEW I DIDN’T HAVE A TWITTER AND THEY HAVE TO KNOW WHICH ACCOUNTS HAVE HIGH ACTIVITY ON THEM. IT’S A FUCKING FARCE AND IT MAKES ME QUESTION WHAT OTHER SO CALLED CELEBRITY TWITTERS ARE ACTUALLY REAL OR FAKE. HEY TWITTER, TAKE THE SO CALLED KANYE WEST TWITTER DOWN NOW …. WHY? … BECAUSE MY CAPS LOCK KEY IS LOUD!!!!!!!!!

Twitter has turned into a never-ending reality show for rock stars. You’d think they would only use their 140 characters for promotional purposes (some do), but for others in the rock Twitterati, tweets are oddly personal and revealing. Kind of like the confessional on The Real World or Big Brother, et al.

Cantankerous rocker Billy Corgan’s official Twitter (there was an imposter for a while) is chock-full of God shout-outs and pseudo-theological praise for “Love,” “Truth,” “Joy,” and “Peace.” It’s almost like he’s trying to tweet his way out of being an egoist. Of course, some celebs have ghost Twitterers, but in Corgan’s case it would be a Holy Ghost Twitterer.

One tweet from Oasis’ Liam Gallagher cracked me up because the Gallagher brothers are basically estranged, despite being on a successful tour. Liam finally spoke to Noel, however, with the help of Twitter as an intermediary. After Noel slagged off the band in the press as a “rudderless ship,” Liam tweeted that the last gig was “AMAZING! Don’t know what tour your on RKID…” Awww, he called him rkid again.

Then there’s Trent Reznor. Sure, he said yesterday, “I might be happy and engaged, but I can still be a prick,” but his impending nuptials have actually brought out the soft side of the “Head Like a Hole” singer. One example: “Now that I’m in love and gone all soft on you, can anyone recommend any romantic comedies? Got a weird urge,” he tweeted.

It isn’t all God, romance, and brotherly love for twittering rockers though. Joy Division’s Peter Hook had to go and start another round of Smiths reunion rumors. Ugh.

Okay, we’re starting to get a little worried about the state of music this year. First there was the Vanilla Ice and MC Hammer reunion concert and now this: Fred Durst tweeted at Neil Diamond, “I am a huge fan of yours. We should do a collaboration - Neil Diamond meets my band Limp Bizkit. Sounds fresh.”

Surely the “Sweet Caroline” singer doesn’t have time to croon with Durst, right? After all, he’s busy getting a personal concert from Paul Simon. Wrong: “@freddurst I’d love to, where and when?” Diamond replied.

Ugh.